Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves - and How to Find our Way Back
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Often mistakenly labeled as codependency, fawning can present as
being more of who someone is: smart, generous,successful, funny, or
beautiful, while for others it's about being less: vocal, ethnic,
creative, self-assured, or boundaried. Fawning can be visible or
invisible, it can take the shape of sex, money, or the perpetual
emotional regulationof others but one thing remains constant: it is
about finding safety in an unsafe world, often at our own expense.
Written by fawning expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid
Clayton, Fawning will be the first of its kind, shininga light on
this under-represented, but extremely important piece of the trauma
puzzle. Clayton draws upon bothpersonal and clinical experiences of
the trauma response and provides resources and tools for anyone who
has lostintrinsic parts of themselves by constantly orienting to
safety through self-abandonment. This book is for thosewho want to
finally lessen their shame about patterns that haven't served for a
long time. It is for doctors, therapists, and all those in the
helping professions who need to understand this form and function
of how the body seeks tosurvive trauma. This book is for the cycle
breakers who don't want to carry unprocessed trauma down to
futuregenerations or foster another generation of fawners who
aren't entitled to the full spectrum of human emotion,shrinking in
the face of what caregivers can tolerate. It is for those who have
been told to read all the literature oncodependency and still don't
see themselves reflected. Fawning is for anyone who has felt stuck
in relationships, longing for meaningful, reciprocal connections
and most importantly, a true relationship to Self.